


To think I almost lost the nerve, but in the end I just could not wait any longer

by Mad_Hatt3r



Category: Broadchurch
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:47:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24884065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mad_Hatt3r/pseuds/Mad_Hatt3r
Summary: S2E7 - Set straight after the kiss on the cliff top, their first night together.
Relationships: Jocelyn Knight/Maggie Radcliffe
Comments: 22
Kudos: 101





	To think I almost lost the nerve, but in the end I just could not wait any longer

**Author's Note:**

> So I found this little nugget while saving a set of study notes. It was the first thing I wrote for this pairing then I talked myself out of posting it as it’s been done before and probably better. 
> 
> Now though I feel it’s a bit of a shame to just delete it so I’m taking the plunge and posting, maybe someone will enjoy it :)
> 
> Broadchurch unfortunately does not belong to me I am merely borrowing the characters for a little while.

“ _... the moment passed”_

“ _No, no I don’t think it has”_

Maggie’s hand settles into her hair, holding her tightly as she finally kisses her back and Jocelyn feels all the stress and uncertainty that has been building for days finally melt away. Maggie wants this, wants her and the elation that courses through her makes her feel light headed. She kisses her again and again, marvelling at the feel of soft lips under her own.

Feeling bold she opens her mouth slightly, letting her tongue trace Maggie’s lower lip. Instantly Maggie responds and as their tongues meet for the first time the moan that escapes from her love has her stomach coiling in pleasure. She can’t stop, it’s like an addiction, now that she’s had a taste she never wants to be without it again. They move in perfect synchrony as though they have been doing this for years, and oh how she wishes they had. Wishes she had embraced her feelings all those years ago instead of being the coward she was.

Maggie pulls back and Jocelyn feels a spike of panic but when she opens her eyes and sees the absolute joy on Maggie’s face it fades away to nothing.

“Do you know how long I’ve waited for you to do that?”

“About as long as I’ve been too frightened to I imagine”

They both smile nervously at one another and Jocelyn reaches out, cupping Maggie’s chin in the palm of her hand. Want washes over her waves, she can barely articulate exactly what she wants just knows it’s Maggie, it’s always been Maggie. She presses forward but Maggie stops her with a gentle hand against her shoulder and a twinkle in her eyes.

“What’s the matter?” The little hint of panic from earlier comes back.

“I think we should move. I’d rather not be on the front page of my own paper because someone sees us out here snogging like horny teenagers”

Jocelyn chuckles, she can’t help it and Maggie nudges her gently.

“Come on, I’m being serious Olly would be unbearable”

“What would be the headline?”

She’s teasing, Maggie laughs before her brow furrows in thought.

“Esteemed Latimer QC and our own local Editor in older lesbian romp at Briar Cliff” Maggie rolls her eyes “‘Makes it sound all the more scandalous, he’d probably add a full page picture”

Jocelyn smiles but she concedes to Maggie’s point she doesn’t really want to be gossip in the local rag even if it is Maggie’s beloved Echo. Standing, slightly stiffly, she reaches out a hand helping Maggie to her feet. She goes to move but Maggie tightens her hold and Jocelyn looks at her curiously.

“I lied” Jocelyn frowns and Maggie suddenly looks shy “It hasn’t passed at all”

Jocelyn feels her heart swell in her chest and she smiles, only smiling wider as Maggie’s face seems to be a mirror of her own. They gather their things from the grass, one handed, as neither of them seem willing to let the other go. It takes them considerably longer but she finds she doesn’t care. Walking back up to her house she suddenly feels nervous, why she isn’t quite sure. She fumbles with the key in the lock before eventually they find themselves standing in the living room facing each other, watching, waiting.

“Would you like a drink?”

Maggie smiles and nods and Jocelyn feels some of the tension lessen, her shoulders dropping in relief. She moves into the kitchen, listening intently as Maggie puts down her bag and steps out of her shoes. She can hear her moving around the room and Jocelyn feels almost giddy. The kettle boils and she makes two drinks as quickly as she can. Placing the cups on the coffee table she pauses awkwardly before she sits leaving enough space so as not to crowd her. Maggie rolls her eyes fondly, takes her tea then moves so she’s sat against her side, thighs touching.

“Thank you for tonight”

Maggie’s voice is soft and gentle in a way Jocelyn hasn’t heard before. She reaches for her hand and squeezes it before rubbing her thumb up and down the soft skin of Maggie’s palm.

“Thank you for everything” Maggie opens her mouth but Jocelyn speaks again “I mean it Maggie, I don’t think I can even begin to explain how grateful I am that I have you in my life”

She’s glad when Maggie doesn’t argue and they sit in perfect silence, sipping at their drinks just letting the stress of the day fall away to nothing. Jocelyn hasn’t felt this free in years.

When their cups have been drained Jocelyn can feel her apprehension building again, she doesn’t want this day to end. She’s frightened that if she lets Maggie leave then everything she has said tonight will have been for nought. The fear eats at her but when she looks to Maggie she sees none of it in the other woman. She’s looking out of the window, across the bay, contented smile in place and Jocelyn is taken aback by her beauty.

“Stop staring”

“I can’t”

It’s the honest truth but as Maggie blushes while rolling her eyes Jocelyn tears her eyes away and focuses on the rather more mundane view out of the window.

“Do you want to stay?”

It’s blurted out and Jocelyn curses her own awkwardness. It’s just Maggie, why can she never sound as eloquent with her as she does when she’s in the courtroom. Maggie turns to her shocked and Jocelyn feels her heart sink.

“Sorry that’s a silly idea”

She stands up quickly and takes the now empty cups needing to move, to do something so that Maggie doesn’t see her disappointment. She all but flees the room letting out a deep sigh once she’s in the relative safety that is her kitchen. As she goes to stack the dishwasher she hears Maggie approach behind her. Turning her head slightly she can see her love leaning against the door frame soft smile in place.

“I could stay, if you’d like that”

“Would you?”

Maggie nods smiling “I’ve been wanting to stay for fifteen years, why on earth would I waste the opportunity now”

Crossing the room with quick strides, in seconds Jocelyn has one hand in Maggie’s hair, one clutching the fabric of her cardigan at her waist. She kisses her, open mouthed and feverishly so desperate to convey just how much she wants this wonderful woman. Maggie moans, responding instantly and Jocelyn’s stomach clenches. She’s burning with need, can almost feel it thrumming in her veins. She’s wet and wanting in a way she hasn’t been in years.

“I want _you_ ”

Maggie whispers the words into her mouth and Jocelyn pulls back in shock, not quite believing what she has heard. Maggie’s face creases and she goes to look away but Jocelyn reaches for her chin. She needs to be sure, she won’t rush just for this to turn to dust at their fingertips through misunderstanding.

“You want me?”

“Yes, but if it’s too much then that’s -“

She presses their lips back together, pushing Maggie firmly up against the door frame as she cants her hips. They are pressed deliciously against one another and Jocelyn kisses Maggie furiously until she cannot ignore the lack of oxygen, breaking away with a sharp gasp. She doesn’t loosen her grip on Maggie’s waist, keeps them joined tightly together.

“I’ve wanted this, you, for so long”

Maggie looks at her deeply there’s a hesitancy in her eyes and Jocelyn presses their foreheads together.

“It’s not grief controlling my actions nor loneliness I promise you”

“I won’t let you hurt me again”

Her heart splinters and she can only press her lips to kiss away the melancholy of her love.

“I’m sorry” She moves peppering Maggie’s cheeks with kisses across to her ear “I’m so sorry” Maggie’s breath hitches in her throat as Jocelyn moves kissing at her pulse point “Come to bed with me?”

She raises her head to meet Maggie’s eyes she needs to see her, needs her to know that she wants this, wants her.

“I’d love to”

* * *

Time passes in a delicious blur she doesn’t quite know how they got to this point, clothes shed, wrapped up amongst her white linen sheets. All she knows is that she wouldn’t give this up for anything in the world. Maggie is kissing her deeply, her legs are cradling her hips as Jocelyn presses her into the mattress. The feel of them naked together is like nothing she has ever felt before and this is only the beginning.

Rocking her hips she preens at the responding gasps and moans, can feel Maggie becoming more desperate as they press against one another. She kisses her again deeply, thrusting her tongue loving how Maggie instantly surrenders to her. She’s so responsive and it makes her thrum with desire.

“You are so beautiful”

“Oh Jocelyn” Maggie’s cheeks redden as she smiles up at her adoringly “Touch me”

She cannot deny this woman, not anymore. It has been a long time since she has been with another but she’s certain it’s never been like this. Before she had always disengaged, it was only about sex and her control of it. Now she feels alive with the wonder of it all.

She lets her hands roam as they kiss, mapping Maggie’s body with her fingers paying attention to every inch of skin. With her thumbs she caresses already hardened nipples into taught peaks swallowing Maggie’s gasps of pleasure eagerly before pulling back. She wants them on her tongue.

As her lips wrap around a hardened bud Maggie tangles her fingers in her hair holding her against her as she sucks eagerly.

“Yes,... just like..., that”

Maggie is becoming breathless and Jocelyn smirks with pride. Her articulate wordsmith reduced to a panting, writhing mess beneath her. She can’t help but feel smug. Maggie’s hips have canted high and she can feel her wetness against her stomach. She presses down giving Maggie the friction she’s so desperately searching for and she’s rewarded with a guttural groan.

“Please Jocelyn I need more”

Those beautiful blue eyes are begging and she cannot wait to oblige. Maggie lets one leg fall to the side, the other she keeps wrapped around her. Slowly Jocelyn slides one hand down, threading her fingers through her curls before her fingertips meet the start of slick warm heat.

“Are you wet enough for me?” She flicks her fingers and Maggie’s breath hitches.

“I don’t think I’ve been this wet in years” Jocelyn snorts and Maggie chuckles before her voice turns soft “but I’ll be fine like this, thank you for checking”

“I want this to be good for you” Jocelyn averts her gaze, she feels shy but Maggie just smiles. She reaches for Jocelyn’s wrist, sliding her fingers upwards all the way until she’s tracing her jaw, awe in her eyes “It will be, make me yours”

It’s feral the need that washes over her at those words. Almost primal the way her mind is screaming to take her, take this wonderful woman until she is ruined for any other. Placing a bruising kiss to Maggie’s lips she slides her fingers downwards revelling in just how wet Maggie is for her. Holding herself above her love she can see the pure pleasure in Maggie’s face as she caresses her folds, stroking up and down. Oh how she wishes her vision was not impaired so that she could see her love with no limitations.

“Jocelyn please...”

Her fingers press deep at the source of dripping wetness and she lets out a breath she hadn’t realised she had been holding as finally her fingers are enveloped in slick heat. She stills once she’s buried two fingers to the hilt, trying to process just how amazing it feels to finally be with Maggie this way.

“ _Yes..._ ”

Maggie’s muscles clench around her fingers and Jocelyn feels her own core flutter in response. Keeping their eyes locked, she begins a slow pace letting Maggie get used to the feel of her.

“Oh that feels ... so marvellous”

It’s difficult when all she wants to do is thrust hard until Maggie comes calling her name but she fights against her baser instinct which is to dominate. She’s wary of how it would be received.

Maggie moans and bucks with every thrust pressing kisses to her neck, at the sweat Jocelyn can feel building on her skin. It’s wonderful and amazing and she could do this forever. Her muscles are tense, straining but still she keeps her thrusts slow and steady as Maggie pants beneath her. This, having Maggie right here, is enough.

“You’re holding back, I can feel it” Maggie stretches up whispering into her ear and Jocelyn’s eyes fall shut. She can’t help it, at the feeling of warm breath caressing her earlobe “I know you” Maggie’s fingers bite into the skin at the back of her neck as her breathing hitches over her next words “I love you”

Jocelyn stops almost paralysed, eyes wide as she struggles to compute those words she has wished to hear for so long.

“Enough of being scared, I want you, I want all of you” Maggie kisses her soundly “No more hiding who you are petal, certainly not with me”

Jocelyn can barely swallow past the lump in her throat. Her eyes are pricking with tears, her heart overflowing with unbridled joy. It almost hurts the intensity of just how much she feels.

“Jocelyn” Maggie blushes but she continues to hold her gaze “... _fuck_ me”

It’s like holding a match to an open flame. She pounces need thrumming through her veins, heat consuming her. Pushing Maggie back down she straddles her leg holding her in place with her weight. With one hand she grasps Maggie’s wrists, holds them high above her head pinning them above her. Maggie gasps in delight her eyes gleaming and Jocelyn finally lets go as she twists her fingers before thrusting her arm hard. She sets a punishing pace and Maggie’s eyes slam shut as a strangled groan escapes her parted lips.

“Oh...” as she thrusts again Maggie’s body arches in pleasure but then bright blue eyes snap open locking with her own “Have you ever pictured this... thought of me like this before?”

“Maggie...”

Her tone is warning and Jocelyn nips at Maggie’s earlobe before soothing the bite with her tongue.

“Tell me ... please?”

Jocelyn narrows her gaze, muscles burning in her arm as she continues to press deeper, harder. Maggie can only moan and Jocelyn smirks under the heady intoxication that is the feeling of power but she concedes to her lovers request.

“You want to know how long I have wanted this? How long I have imagined kissing you, touching you, ... _fucking you_?”

Maggie’s slick walls contract around her fingers and she groans loudly “Yes”

“Fifteen years I have thought of you, wanted you” Jocelyn feels her chest tighten at the admission but it soon turns to wonder, Maggie's here, now and they're together “Now answer me, is this everything you thought it would be?”

Maggie’s head shakes ever so slightly and for a moment the confidence slips and Jocelyn feels unsure again. It suddenly all feels too much, and she lets go of Maggie’s wrists pulling away slightly, her arm stilling.

Maggie lets out a low whine and thrusts her hips up firmly, one hand settling at the back of Jocelyn’s neck as the other wraps around her shoulders she answers.

“It’s better, so, so much better” Maggie swallows hard but Jocelyn can hear the honesty in her voice and her spirit soars “Don’t stop Jocelyn ... don’t stop”

She doesn’t again, keeps up with her unrelenting pace marvelling at how wildly beautiful Maggie looks as she fucks her. Jocelyn wants her, loves her. Wants Maggie to stay here forever, in her bed, in her life, by her side.

“Mine, I want you to be mine Maggie”

“Yours, I’ll always ... be yours”

It does not take long for Maggie to fall apart under her hand. Her muscles slowly becoming tighter and tighter around her fingers before suddenly she’s crying out loudly, nails bite at her skin as Maggie's body goes rigid with the force of her orgasm. Jocelyn grinds down hard against Maggie’s thigh, bringing her wet fingers to her own clit until she too is riding the high of her own release, wrapped in the arms of the only person she has ever loved. Nothing can be heard other than their mixed pants as they both fight hard to get their breathing under control. They collapse into the mattress exhausted but sated and Jocelyn doesn’t think she has ever felt this wonderful.

“Well that was bloody fabulous”

“It wasn’t too much?”

Now that they are wrapped together the urgency of their actions fading Jocelyn can feel her nerves rising. She feels raw, exposed.

“I haven’t had sex that good in a very, very long time” Maggie’s grinning breathlessly “Thank you”

Jocelyn cannot help but laugh the tension easing out of her at the unbridled joy in her love’s voice. There’s only Maggie who could thank her when it is her who deserves all the thanks in the world.

“Oh Maggie I do love you” 

Maggie beams at her, smile stretching wide her, eyes slightly misty. She presses the softest kiss to her lips and Jocelyn’s heart skips a beat with the emotion. She can scarcely believe this is happening she hasn’t felt this happy in, actually she’s not certain she has ever experienced happiness quite like this.

Exhaustion suddenly hits Jocelyn and her limbs begin to slacken. Maggie cuddles her close turning them so they are lying wrapped comfortably in one another’s arms. She reaches for the sheets pulling them up and over their rapidly cooling bodies snuggling in as Maggie chuckles in her ear.

“Don’t tease”

Her voice is rough and she clears her throat wishing she had thought to bring a glass of water. When she looks at her love Maggie is staring at her coyly and Jocelyn narrows her eyes.

“What?”

“Your voice like this is pure sex”

“Oh? And you like that?”

She winks chuckling lowly before suddenly letting out a yawn, it takes her by surprise and she blushes as she does.

“I’m sorry Maggie”

“No don’t be, we need to sleep, it’s going to be a big day tomorrow”

There’s a weight to Maggie’s words and the reality of the world outside of them comes crashing back into focus and Jocelyn nods suddenly serious.

“You’re right”

“Are you worried?”

“Yes” she can’t lie not to Maggie, not anymore “I really think it could go either way”

Maggie nods looking so bereft that Jocelyn pulls her close pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“If you lose the trial tomorrow” Maggie pauses and Jocelyn waits patiently for her to continue “Promise me you won’t shut yourself away again, because I need you, I need us. I can’t go back to how it was not after tonight, not now I know how it feels to be loved by you”

Jocelyn kisses Maggie softly trying to show her just how much she feeling. When she pulls back Maggie is smiling.

“I promise. I won’t run from this, not again, I’m not scared anymore”

Maggie’s smile could light up the bay and Jocelyn chuckles before she sneaks one last kiss before turning off the light.

“I love you”

Those words she will never tire of hearing. She will show Maggie every day just how much she wants her, will never take this wonderful woman for granted.

“And I you”

For the first time in over fifteen years Jocelyn is fast asleep in seconds.


End file.
